Our First Home

I've heard it's not really your own home until you move the furniture in.  I give you our first child: Ikea BEDDING sofa bed.

Friends in High Places

I don't usually do much writing on music on my blog because it's often such a personal thing.  But sometimes, something so good comes along that you must share it.  This time, it's even more "so good" because the pianist/vocalist for this group is a friend of mine from my university days!

Aura was awesome back then, owning it in the world of Santa Cruz ethnic music, classical piano, and then singing her heart out to top all of it off.  Plus composing, and being generally a lovely person to be around and swap stories with.

She's now in a band called The Horde and the Harem.  I love their music.  I'm a huge sucker for harmonies, and they nail it-- balancing their female and male vocals delicately over upbeat, indie-rock instrumentals.  Their slower songs will melt your heart.

Lucky for all of you who reside in my native American West, they're on tour, as well!  Be sure to check 'em out if you live in Portland, San Francisco, or Los Angeles.



Thanks supermarioz for the video.

Lightening Your Burden (plus, some wedding photos)

The husband and I in Bernal Heights, San Francisco

Since I was a kid, I've envisioned myself settling down comfortably in a Victorian townhome in San Francisco-- after traveling the world, winning an Oscar, and marrying Jonathan Taylor Thomas, of course.  

Childhood dreams aside, the Bay Area is a truly unique place, full of diversity, life, and an amazing balance of cityscape and natural beauty.  So it seems logical that over my entire life, I would develop such a deep, James Joyce-ian affinity for my hometown.  And while some grow weary of returning to the place where they grew up once they've seen life in "the big city" or "the real world," my love for the Bay Area grows with every visit back home.

The husband and I still in Bernal Heights, San Francisco

This past stint back home made my childhood dream seem even sweeter.  Driving through all the different districts of San Francisco, the East Bay, and down the Peninsula portion of I-280 made me long to forgo my world travels (and my Oscar, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas) and settle anywhere in the Bay forever.  To finally feel "at home" in my favorite place in the world.

 

Bay Bridge Pier on Embarcadero, San Francisco

Yet this idyllic picture of my future weighed heavy in my heart, and I couldn't understand why.  After getting married, isn't settling down the next logical step?  Is it so wrong to desire to own property, to have a place to hang my hat and kick the boots of my feet?

Then it hit me.  No, it's not wrong to desire to settle down, or to love my hometown, or to know how awesome the Bay Area is.  But it is a burden to have my mind set on something that may not be in the plan God has prepared for me.  It is a burden to feel that I have a right to the privilege of a comfortable home.  And it is a burden to think that I actually need to own property to take off my hat and boots when I can just do it anywhere.

In less than a week, I will be returning to China-- a place that I have a love-hate relationship with.  People keep asking if I plan on living there for much longer, to which I reply that I certainly hope not.  But what I really should say is that I really have no idea, simply because it's not up to me.


And living with this mentality of not knowing is also living without the burden of trying to figure out how I'd manage to be able to afford a Victorian townhome in San Francisco, what district I'd like most, where I'd find a job to pay my impossible mortgage, and if living in San Francisco was the right move for my husband and me at all.

I can't say that I feel completely free of my desire to stay in the Bay Area, or in the United States for that matter.  Leaving home has never been easy, and I don't expect that it ever will be.  But I look forward to the day when leaving home is marked also by the great expectancy for what is to come, rather than the burden of fulfilling my expectations.  I am grateful that we've been called to a place I really don't like at all, because I know that God will be faithful in showing me how small minded I am in the midst of His great plan.  And I know that He has long prepared for me a home that far exceeds anything I could find in San Francisco.

Photos by the illustrious Emily.

One Big Long Catch-Up

Today is my day off, and consequently the last day I have to pack and get ready to leave my most favorite place in the world (so far).

A lot's happened since my last post, when I was just getting re-accustomed to life in the Bay Area.  Among those things, the big ones would be...

I got married.

To this guy.

We had a beautiful...

and delicious...

and rockin' out with your hair let loose...

wedding.



We went to Cancun, Mexico on our honeymoon.

Where we ate some amazing food.

And enjoyed a body of water that wasn't the great Pacific Ocean.

And I had an amazing six-month run with some of the greatest people on earth.

Now, we're off to visit my folks in Oregon, then it's back to China.  Which leads to the obligatory tradition of collecting as much stuff as I can squeeze into my suitcase that I know I can't get in China.

I've been reading up on the "Six Items or Less" experiment online, in which people are challenged to go for an entire month wearing only six items of clothing.  It's an enticing prospect, simply because nice clothing that isn't covered in sequins, ruffles, or bad Engrish is certainly hard to come by in Beijing.  Perhaps this could become an experiment due to necessity.  Something to ponder... but it definitely means I'd have to choose my six items while stateside.

More updates when more interesting things pop up in the next few months.

For now, I bid the SF Bay Area a tearful farewell.  I love you.  I miss you already.  You are unlike any other place in the world... and I am forever grateful for your existence.

Back to the Bay!

Long time since last post, I know.  But this is what happens when you're too cheap to buy a VPN and you're stuck behind the Great Firewall of China (unlike those stupid Mongorians!).

So... we're back!  We'll buy a VPN once we head back to China February 2011, but in the meantime, I'm enjoying basking in the glory of the freedom of information back here in America (notice my little Youtube link up there?  Not to be taken lightly anymore, friends!).

 We flew into LAX about two weeks ago and stayed down in southern California for the week for a friend's wedding, then flew up to SFO on Monday.  Do we miss China?  Hmm... not yet!  But I have to say there are some aspects that I certainly do miss.  So here we go, Little Fish's top five things I miss about China after being away for less than two weeks:

1)  Public transportation.  Do you know this face?  It's not constipation.  It's not gas from gorging on Mexican food after being away for a year (although that did happen). 

It's called the "I'm in LA.  I'm in a car.  I hate my life" face.  Do you notice the writing on the windows in the background?  My guess is that the rest of the sign reads, "Holidays blow when you have to drive in LA."  Call me nuts for being an American who hates driving, but I really do.  I REALLY dislike driving.  Put me on a bicycle, bus, or subway any day and I'm happy as a clam.  Put me in a taxi and pay and I'm even happier.

2)  My students.  I know, it sounds crazy, but I really do miss my students.  God was so good to me this semester and gave me the most amazing batch of students a teacher could ask for.  They're the absolute best, and I know I'll miss them forever.

3)  Joohee & Joosun.  Joohee & Joosun are my friends' kids who live in Beijing.  Over the last few semesters, we've gotten really close and I miss these two little rascals so much.  Even though their mom and dad tell me that I'm going to be a great mom someday, I have to say that I love being Auntie Grace to them and I'd hate to give it up any time soon.  This is one of my favorite videos of Joohee demonstrating how to use a hula hoop.

4)  My apartment.  Sure, the paint was cracking and coming off the walls.  My TV only played three channels that used English.  And my sofa was just my spare bed stuck in the living room.  The internet connection sucked and my kitchen was just a closet with two gas burners in it.  But after living there for two years, it is a little strange knowing that I won't be back.  After all, there were some good times had in that little apartment of mine.

Like this time, when Jason fell asleep on my sofa and I went a little nuts pwning him with some black make up that I don't use anymore.

Maybe I took it a little too far...

This is Christmas dinner 2009.  I made it all in my tiny 2-burner kitchen and it was pretty tasty!

This is a throwback to the first student party I had in my tiny place.  We baked cookies and made paper snowflakes and paper chains to celebrate Christmas.  It was very successful, as evidenced by the huge mess that was left behind.

5)  Enjoying the simple pleasures.  Back in the comforts of the USA, little things like getting a fresh cup of coffee at McDonald's, finding a decent pair of shoes, cold soda or beer, baking fresh bread, or finding a good movie on TV just don't hold the same value that they do in China.  Of course, it's all a matter of perspective, and making sure to not get jaded by the amazing privilege we experience here is going to be a daily struggle.  But the changing mentality that I've gained is something that I hope I will never take for granted.

I have to admit that it was a struggle for me to come up with five measly things that I miss about China, but I'm sure this list will grow over time.

'Til then, here I go to have brunch with some of my most favorite people in the world!

Don't call it San Fran

Or Frisco.  Even "SF' is cutting it a little close.  A place simply known as "the city" is deserving of the ridiculous talent and patience it takes to produce something like this.

I discovered Karen M O'Leary via DesignSponge, another blog I frequent almost daily.  Ms. O'Leary's maps and other results of her awesome talent are available for purchase at her Etsy shop.  If you know me well, you know I am a huge sucker for maps, so I was really excited to see these on DesignSponge.  I'd be quick to snap up one of her amazing maps (especially this one of my favorite city in the world) if I weren't working on a Chinese salary.  Who knows, though?  After this Financial Crisis blows over, I may end up being in the country that lands on top.

Either way... ridiculous talent, wouldn't ya say?  I miss home.

Conversations with my dad

My dad is one in a million.  I woke up today for some ungodly reason at 5:30 AM.  I made it a point to be productive and catch up with folks back home since we rarely beat the time difference and find good times to chat.  For a little background, my dad is a HUGE Karaoke fanatic.  People think I'm kidding when I talk about how family events go in my house, but the formula goes something like: Dinner, Dessert, Drinks, Karaoke, Drinks, Karaoke, Fall asleep on couch.  My dad must have a thing for obnoxious songs, because his signature karaoke number is "My Way," made famous by Frank Sinatra and broken-English speakers all over the world.  Here's a tidbit from a conversation I had over Gchat with my pops.  Gotta love that slight hint of Konglish in the conversation, too.

James: :)

  Did you hear about "My Way" is banned from karaoke shops in Philppines?

 me: Because everyone wants to sing it?

7:51 AM James: No, they were fighting - each claiming that they sang better than the other guy

  there were too many fights

  can you imagine??!!!

7:53 AM me: Maybe you should go and sing it so you can settle all the fights

 James: that's a great idea - why didn't I think of that!!!! :)

 me: They'll all say, "Remember when that Korean guy came? There's no comparison. We shouldn't even try."

 James: you are funny!

7:57 AM me: That is so funny, though.

  Leave it up to Asians to get all emotional about their karaoke.

7:58 AM James: I think their way of living seem more humane than the americans live their lives - americans are all about working, but others enjoy their lives a bit better like fighting about who sang the song better.

  who has time for something like that in America?    Yes, Pops.  Life would be better if we just took work a little less seriously and regarded karaoke with the respect it deserves.

Ode to an Avocado

I'm on the last leg of my stay back in the good ol' U.S. of A. and it has been absolutely splendid.  In my short three weeks here on my home soil, I've done ALL of the following:

-been in the beautiful wedding of one of my best friends
-tearfully got through my very first wedding toast
-learned and executed the basic fineries of cosmetology
-made dinner in less than two hours (collaboratively) for 10 hungry women
-almost finished reading White Teeth by Zadie Smith
-drank a lot of dirty martinis compliments of my sister's boyfriend
-had a conversation that went until 4 AM with my sister
-caught up on Season 5 of Lost and watched the Season 6 premiere (and... !!!!)

...and many other things.  In my time, one recurring theme has been my friends' and families' insistence that I was living a truly deprived life out in China, which is true in some ways.  While I still insist that living in Beijing is not as bad as I make it seem sometimes, my deprived existence in China rings true in one instance, and one instance alone: when I encounter the mighty avocado.

photo courtesty of Shoothead via Flickr

Oh, avocados.  It's a love it or hate it food, but I'm slightly convinced that the people who hate avocados have defunct palates.  It actually became a joke with my friends that if anything on a menu had avocados in it, they immediately knew what I would be ordering.  More often than not, they were right.  But there is something so unique, wonderful, and absolutely satisfying in the mighty fruit that is difficult to explain.

I've tried to figure out what it is about the avocado that hits the spot.  Is it its simplicity?  Its creamy, smooth goodness?  Or perhaps it's simply that they are so rare in China and even expensive back here at home.

What it comes down to is that the avocado needs nothing done to it.  It is perfect as it is.  Sure, put a little salt and a squeeze of lime on it for something extra, or pair it with a boring turkey sandwich and suddenly, you have magic between two slices of bread.  But independently, avocado stands on its own as a near perfect food.  Something that doesn't need to be tampered with.  Humble at first glance and unassuming in its pear shape, there is perfect satisfaction in the perfect squeeze of your thumb on its cool skin and the buttery ease in which a knife cuts through it when you rotate it on the blade.

But isn't that the truth about all of our favorite things?  It certainly is what I look forward to when I come home.  The ease in which I am able to slide back into life here in the U.S. and still be pleasantly surprised by how wonderful and blessed my life is.  The relationships that sit like worn-in chairs that wait for you to roll back into and get comfortable in.  And just like with the avocado, coming home means encountering new interpretations of things I was familiar with (avocado and bacon ice cream, anyone?); and while some I disagree with (addiction to Smartphones and iPhones), some come as a welcome and informative surprise (playing Rock Band with my brother can significantly improve my eye-hand coordination!).

As I prepare to leave this wonderful, wonderful country that I have become so proud to call my home, I encourage you to think of me and my avocado-deprived life in China the next time you bite into that perfect, soothingly-hued morsel of heaven.

Cheers... and thank God for avocadoes.